Bedtime can be a difficult time for everyone in the family. Parents are typically tired and ready for some downtime. Children are typically resistant to going to bed for a number of reasons. The goal is to establish a routine and some guidelines that will help this time of day go smoothly.
If your family includes children of a variety of ages, schedule earlier bedtimes for the younger children and individualize times as children develop and mature. If you are uncertain how many hours of sleep your child requires, consult your pediatrician or family doctor.
Plan manageable and consistent bedtime routines. Whether you or someone else is in charge, design bedtimes with consistency in mind. Let your children know ahead of time. Encourage children to ask questions or make suggestions of what to include in the routine. Adjust activities so they are age and developmentally appropriate. Recognize and praise children's efforts to adhere to the new routine.
The bedtime routine should include activities such as the following:
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Quiet time. Play a quiet, calming activity, reading a book or even watching a movie.
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Provide a snack if your child needs something in his/her stomach prior to bed.
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Help your child with a bath, shower or washing up, brushing teeth and changing into pajamas.
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Prepare the room, which can include turning on a nightlight, playing a calming CD (perhaps nature sounds), and gathering stuffed animals, blankets or books that your child may want in bed. Give your child a drink of water.
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Help your child use the bathroom right before getting into bed.
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Once in bed, tell your child a story, pray or rub his/her back to calm and relax him/her.
For some young children, bedtime can be traumatic. They often don't like to be alone, and they don't want to miss out on anything that might be going on in other parts of the home. Sometimes they are scared of monsters or the noises the house makes.
Young children respond more readily to sounds, smells and touch. The following are some suggested activities for the bedtime routine:
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Give your child a warm bath.
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Use the same body lotion after bath time.
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Read books to/with your child.
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Rock your child to calm and relax him/her.
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Sing songs with your child.
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Say prayers with your child.
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Snuggle with your child.
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Play soft music in your child's room.
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Rub your child's back.
When your child gets out of bed or cries for attention, respond each time with a calm, soft voice, repeating that it is time to go to sleep, Mom/Dad loves you, see you in the morning. Lay your child back down in bed, perhaps rub or pat his/her back briefly, and then walk out.
If “monsters" are a concern for your child, using Monster Spray around the room works wonders. Mix about an inch of cold water and a drop or two of lemon juice (monsters hate sour stuff) in a small spray bottle. Then, right before bed, allow your child, armed with the bottle, to make one spray to each space in the room where a monster may lurk. The bottle should be out of the child's reach the rest of the time and reserved for bedtime use only.
Reserve a bit of energy from your day to put into the bedtime routine and brief follow-up and the routine will go smoother.