A Mom's Story: Second Baby
"I felt like a horrible mother."
My son was a planned pregnancy, but it happened sooner than expected. I was excited about the baby - and worried too. Since my daughter's birth, my husband and I had both returned to school, but because of morning sickness, I had to drop out. I think my depression started during my pregnancy because I was dreading the long nights ahead and having sole responsibility of caring for the baby.
My son was a perfect baby, eating and sleeping on schedule. It was great. But I still had all of the child care responsibilities because my husband worked nights and slept during the day. I also had a toddler running around. I was trying to go back to work, and I was exhausted.
I took the baby to the doctor for his six-month checkup and broke down. His doctor suggested that I take antidepressants and see a counselor. My husband, however, said people who take medication are weak, so I decided I could handle it myself.
But I couldn't handle it. Instead, I became very depressed. I felt like a horrible mother. I wasn't playing with my daughter, and I wasn't enjoying my son. I didn't want to get out of bed. I was even threatening suicide. I cried all the time.
At my one-year appointment, my doctor asked, "Is everything alright?" I started crying and told her how bad I was feeling. She listened carefully to what I was saying and took my difficulties seriously.
1st Baby | 2nd Baby |